logo of Mass Match dating service
member login email massmatch

Home Approach Choose a Plan Sign Up Contact Us
Lanie's Articles  |   Essays From M.H Borden

Yin Yang Part 2

In the Last issue I discussed some of the tidbits in the enormously popular and hard to get your hands on (if you use the library) book “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" by Steve Harvey. Harvey is the host of the widely syndicated Steve Harvey Morning Show.

The book is now overdue and there are a gazillion more holds on it. It is kind of fascinating that when we get involved with someone of the opposite sex we often assume, despite all evidence to the contrary and our own better judgment, that they will behave just like we do.

All we have to do, however, is “google” the differences between men and women to see that in terms of thinking, problem solving, responding, memory, sensitivity, sex, speaking, communicating, deciding and on and on and on down to differences even in eye contact we are quite different—this is the research stuff, in fact, of Ph.D’s. It is truly amazing that we get along as well as we do.

Here are some more pointers from Steve Harvey for women…but men should pay attention.

Men like women who smile, who take care of themselves and who appreciate what they do for them versus women who criticize or are sour. Well it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that positive energy attracts and most people enjoy hanging out with positive people. I certainly often hear from male clients, not so much the old line that their spouse didn’t understand them, but rather didn’t appreciate them.

How do you know if he is into you? Well, he will pay for you. (Does seem like a good touch and women appreciate it.) He will introduce you to his friends and family and anyone who is important to him. Common sense that if you aren’t meeting anyone in his life, there might be a reason. He abides by your rules and standards. And that means taking no for an answer. In other words, you feel cherished and respected.

Men may not like this one, but he definitely recommends at least 90 days before you sleep with him. That is the time you should be getting to know him and sizing him up as future partner material.

What kind of man should you be looking for? Since men are problem solvers by nature, does he extend himself to solve problems you may have? Does he try to make you feel better? I know I tell all my women clients that you better not be looking for a prince, but you do certainly want someone who would slay all your dragons if he could.

How does he react to pressure? Because of course there will be pressure and tough times. Maybe you should see how he deals with the tangle of holiday lights?

How does he react when you are sad? Does he try to comfort you? One of my clients told me about a boyfriend who didn’t offer any help out when she was laid up for a month. Did I say former boyfriend?

So basically separate the men from the boys, right?

Here are some other interesting thoughts. Mr. Harvey says as soon as you are getting to like someone they should meet the kids ASAP. Maybe even sooner than I had advised clients but makes good sense. Seeing how you are with your children and how they are with your children…well, that could be a deal breaker or a blessing.

And here is a last piece of advice. Given that men want to protect and provide for us (see last issue), modern women might cause a problem for men. Many women don’t need financial support and many have been hanging out at Home Depot -- they can do home projects themselves. According to Mr. Harvey, men already know that women will make the key decisions in the house but obviously everyone wants to feel needed. Interestingly his advice is the same as that of a famous matchmaker who gets the big bucks who I saw on Oprah. Let him take out the trash, let him move the TV to wherever you want it moved to, and by goddess stand by that car door until he opens it for you. That’s the Act Like a Lady part, along with not sleeping with him too soon, according to Harvey. And be appreciative. That’s just good manners.

Steve Harvey also suggests that unless sex is foremost on your mind, cooking is not a bad idea. Of course I have several friends who have and had neither on their minds and have had long and happy marriages.

So the conclusion can be take everything you read with a grain of salt , don’t, in fact, believe everything you read, there are exceptions to every rule and I can think of most of them….BUT….

Women’s lib doesn’t ever mean that we will be the same even if we wear his tee-shirts and it doesn’t hurt to have common sense. Information is power, as you know.

Lanie Delphin

Finding You the Right One, Not Just Anyone

Mass Match

6 University Drive


Amherst, MA 01002



←Back to articles
I met someone wonderful through your fine service. Lanie's moral support and encouragement helped me during the dating process. I have been having a wonderful time since I've met him. Thank you, Lanie!
Cindy, Springfield Ma
Dear Lanie, Mass Match has definitely exceeded my expectations. It was a great way to connect with someone special. I couldn't be happier at this moment.
Sam, Holyoke Ma
I have used several different internet dating sites like match.com. Mass Match is by far the best I have used. I like that it connects me with local women. Women that live within an hours drive of me. That is important. I prefer to connect with a woman that I can visit easily. I don't want to start a relationship with someone that lives in Ohio or Virginia. I like the personal touch that I get with Mass Match. The matches that I am being sent are not coming from a computer, from a machine. They are coming from Lanie -- a human being that happens to be dedicated matchmaker. I love getting an email from Lanie: "Jack, Mary is a sweet lady. You have a few things in common. I think you will like each other. Why don't you give her a call". You don't get the personal touch like that from the other dating sites. Lanie advises us. Teaches us to enjoy the process. I learned not to go into a first meeting with a woman as if I was interviewing her for the job of being my Soul-mate. I have met some wonderful women thru MM. I am having a good time. What Lanie is doing is very special. I am grateful to Mass Match.
John, Lee Ma
I moved to the Berkshires two years ago from a large city when my marriage ended. I'm in my 40's and now a single mom. I was attracted to the country lifestyle and thought it would be a great place to raise children. What I didn't realize is how hard it would be to connect with single men! The Berkshires are filled with talented, beautiful women, who far outnumber eligible single men. And because people are fairly isolated here, its difficult to meet other singles. A friend introduced me to Mass Match and really, it changed my life! They take a personal approach and only match people when they really think it would be appropriate for them to meet. Lanie is very wise about the dating scene, and able to coach her clients well. I've met so many great guys through Mass Match. I can't recommend it enough and have sent many of my friends to them for help. The cost of their services is so reasonable. Mass Match really cares, and many of the men I have met have become friends if we decided not to date further. I feel like I have a family here now. The best part about Mass Match is that you can always all or email her, if you want to talk about the dating process or ask for advice! It's a lot better than doing it yourself on the internet dating circuit!
Marie, Stockbridge Ma