Valentine's Day Blues?

To me, Valentine's Day is a mixed bag and can be a set up by media hype for a day of misery, especially for single folks who would like to be in a relationship. Those who are single need to remember that for the first time in history over half the adult population is in the same boat as they are. And many married folks are not in healthy relationships, so it is best not to romanticize or sentimentalize about anyone else's situation. It would be a big mistake to rush into something just so you can receive candy and flowers, only to pay a huge price for them down the road.

So if you are single and reading this, then hopefully you did not make that mistake.
Here's the good news: You have the year ahead before you have to face V Day again. If you want to be in a healthy relationship, then take the necessary steps to meet new people. If you stay home, you might only meet the delivery folks -- and they are probably taken.

If you are feeling vulnerable, I hope you spend the day with friends and family -- the people who love you. Maybe do something special for someone else or yourself. As with any other time of stress, helping others gets your mind off yourself. Didn't Obama say that? It's win/win: Keeping yourself upbeat and positive, active and generous of spirit is what will attract others.

Even if you are dating, I would advise people who just started dating to make light of the whole notion of Valentin's Day. I sure hope if you fall into that category that you don't go overboard. I certainly hope there are no diamond purchases on your credit card. We tend to couple off too fast, long before we have time to determine if the person we are with really makes sense for us. Everyone should be putting their best foot forward, because as Cupid knows so well, positive energy attracts. Trust me I didn't let my husband see my dark side until way down the road. By going slowly and meeting and dating different people, we can use our heads and figure out which of their little quirks we learn about down the road are cute, which are merely annoying, and which dark sides are downright unacceptable. Over time we will figure out who makes the most sense for us. We all know that getting out of relationships is a lot harder than getting into them. So I would not put pressure on the dating life by adding Valentine's Day expectations to the mix. I would err on the side of going "under board" and not rushing.

Once you get in a good relationship, hopefully by next Valentine's Day, then celebrate if you choose. Celebrate, in fact, as many days and moments as you can. It is how you celebrate and live every day that counts, not giving too much meaning to one hyped-up occasion. Instead honor all the ways in which you give and receive love.

Didn't that wise old guy Confucius say that?

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